When you're stuck, you need help.
There is no worse feeling than sinking a 105 ton bulldozer into a mud pit and then sit there helplessly stuck. I did that twice over twenty years ago. It took some digging from a 992 Caterpillar loader to be extricated. Without that help, there was no way my machine was moving. Without me reaching out seeking help, I might still be there today. It was all good. My theory was and still is, nothing ventured, nothing gained. If I have never made a mistake, then it's likely I've never tried anything.
(Photo creds to @heavyequipmentlife)
The problematic issue is not that you try something and fail. The issue is in failing and not admitting it or not seeking help. Too often when one fails at something, it is so much easier to deny failure and pass the blame onto someone else. Never owning one's mistakes sets a course for becoming a narcissistic lonely person. Nobody wants to be around them out of fear they'll be the next victim or accused.
Oh, I could have complained about previous excavators who left a bowl shaped trap that filled up with mud. I could have wrote a scathing letter to Caterpillar and asked them why they designed the dozer with a flat belly pan. I could have included in the letter my disgust for such a heavy piece of equipment that sank like a rock. On and on I could have gone, when in reality, I didn't use proper technique in overburden removal.
Whether stuck bulldozers or people stuck in a conflicted relationship, both need resolution and need to seek help. Amazing things happen when we admit defeat and welcome a third party to come and intervene. We need one who will listen objectively, without judging, and ultimately help two stuck parties come back together so life can get back on track.
"Therefore each of you must put off falsehood and speak truthfully to his neighbor, for we are all
members of one body. “In your anger do not sin” : Do not let the sun go down while you are still
angry, and do not give the devil a foothold. He who has been stealing must steal no longer, but must
work, doing something useful with his own hands, that he may have something to share with those in
need. Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building
others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. And do not grieve the Holy Spirit
of God, with whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger,
brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another,
forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you." (Ephesians 4:25-32, NIV)
If you find yourself in an argument and feel like you are faultless in the situation, pause and reconsider what it would sound like to say, "I messed up. I need help here." It could just be the thing needed for your life to get back on track. If might help the other person in the conflict find some grace and forgiveness as well.